Inquisition at the CBN

Left: Pat Robertson being bludgeoned with the very same crucifix that was used by Sean Connery in the timeless 1986 classic film, Highlander.


In an act contrary to God's will, the Christian Broadcasting Network voted modern day Nazi Pat Robertson off of the board of directors this week.

An article in the Chicago Sun Times reports that "Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson, criticized by some evangelicals for comments about Venezuela's president and Israel's prime minister, lost a bid for re-election to the National Religious Broadcasters' board of directors". Robertson has in recent history issued a call for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez in response to his critiques of President Bush's foreign policy and also suggested that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's near fatal stroke was divine punishment for "dividing the holy land".

I, for one, disagree with the CBN's decision. These remarks, while brash, are, from what I can see, consistent with precedents set nearly a thousand years ago or more. Honestly, since when have the Christians not been down with the idea of killing jews and minorities? Why silence Robertson when we all know he is the voice of reason in an overliberalized society that respects people's inalienable rights? The voice says, "kill that uppity jew, God hates him anyway" or "it's okay to torture muslims; they aren't people" or "AIDs is the cure for the gays".

Ah yes, Pat Robertson, YOU are too real for the CBN. They've gone soft. Carry on God's good work of cold blooded murder.

Blog Sponsored by Paper911.com

Christianity Awesome, Islam Bullshit according to some Christian Douche

An article published in the radical right-wing and therefore somewhat mainstream American publication, the National Review, rebukes 'western liberals' for defending Islam against justified racial epithets. A thesis on the values of ethnically motivated blanket-statements, Journalist George Neumayr ,in his article, parenthetically entitled 'even my mother thinks I'm an asshole,' points out that “only radical Muslims would consider rioting a rational rebuttal to descriptions of Islam as violent. What other religious group riots or issues death threats after it is criticized? It is precisely because Christianity is so tame that Western liberals often feel safe to lampoon its history as violent.” (Neumayr)

Wow.

I don't even have a comment on that. Let's just sit back and meditate on the tameness of Christianity.

Click on the link below or on the title link in order to read the rest of this article, written by a very stupid man:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/02/06/opinion/main1283291.shtml

image borrowed from www.newworldborder.com

Blog Sponsored by Paper911.com

Wow! A Mathusala Rookie Card

IMPORTANT: CLICK ON THE TITLE LINK AND COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK IS BEING DEPICTED IN THIS SCENE...REALLY REALLY LOOK

Methuselah- in the Bible, descendant of Seth; son of Enoch. He is said to have lived 969 years. It can also be spelled Mathusala.
------Free Columbia Dictionary

This Marketing professor of the City College of Santa Barbara relaxes from the extreme stresses of teaching at a prestigious university by collecting "antique European religious images from prayer books and holy cards".

This article emphasizes the fact that " [She] has devoted much of her limited free time, and all of her inheritance, to collecting, scanning and posting over 100,000 of "God's calling cards" on the web." But that isn't where it ends, this collection of antique cards that would put any 14 year-old seminary student's collection to shame brings with it an important message.

"Modern technology is a part of God's plan to help not only with remembering the past but creating future possibilities that at this time we cannot imagine.", says this avid Religious antique enthusiast referring to modern preservation techniques that will save these rare cards.

Sadly, it looks as if God's plan was to use technology to preserve little, old cards and not to, you know, save people through stem cell research.

Blog Sponsored by Paper911.com

New Terrorist Camp Located in...SOUTH BRUNSWICK NJ

The United States Central Intelligence Agency claims that they have discovered a new terrorist training camp operating in the state of New Jersey. CIA Spokesman Clint Ulrich disclosed that there may be as many as one Al Queda operative currently training in this South Brunswick camp. While these early intelligence reports are baseless and irresponsible, The Bush Administration, reacting in a way consistent with its 6 year tyrannical reign, will be organizing a full military campaign in order to preserve the safety of our citizenry from the deadly grasp of the "Axis of Evil".

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan is expected to announce when the President intends to blast this small school into the ground this
Thursday.


photo courtesy of
www.religiousnews.com

He Has Risen....Word!

In a splendid and quasi-predictable event, Christ has been resurrected as Kanye West and will appear on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine's February 2006 issue. Kanye's rise to messiahdom started at an early age when he began turning water into 40 oz. bottles of Old English and was able to walk across the Hudson River from New Jersey to Manhattan in search of "mad, ill beats". Clergy officials in Vatican City have been working around the clock to either confirm or refute His second coming. Nonetheless, Pope Benedict XVI issued a statement this morning where he proclaimed that, "if he is the messiah, I'm still not going to let him drink from my water fountain".

blog sponsored by: Paper911.com

Testing the Waters....of Being an Asshole

The state of South Dakota legislature will begin hearing arguments concerning a bill that will come up shortly that will, in effect, ban abortion within the state. In a January 22 article, author Jodi Schwan writes that:

The bill will be called the Woman's Health and Life Protection Act. It will ban abortion, but won't prosecute a doctor who performs one to save a woman's life.

And the lawmaker who's introducing the bill says he thinks now is the right time to try and over-turn Roe vs Wade.

Rep. Roger Hunt says, "Abortion should be banned."

On a seperate note, Rep. Roger Hunt will be pissing on the Constitution for an encore while simultaneously smoking a joint rolled from the Bill of Rights, packed with the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and "sparked" by a bonfire which includes the books "Huck Finn", Darwin's "Origin of the Species", and Dr. Seuss's notoriously anti-American piece of propoganda "Green Eggs and Ham". Thanks to Joy for pointing us to the article.

blog sponsored by: Paper911.com

Jesus Christ Schmorgasboard

Ahhhhh....it's time for a Christian clip show. This link leads to "this week in religious news". My favorite little news clip is the one about the Vatican charging a publisher $18,000 to quote "Pope Benedict XVI's public statements and written works dating back to his professorial days as the Rev. Joseph Ratzinger." First, I can listen to Hitler's speeches for free, and he's the top NAZI (why settle for meatloaf when you can have prime rib). Second, I hear the Vantican is going bankrupt. Third, Moses would have charged double.

Religious Freedom Day: A Time for Thanks

Pictured Left: Iraqis celebrate their new found religious rights
by performing their native "Nude POW Humiliation Pile" ritual
for Operation Iraqi Freedom support troops.




Well...January 16th was declared Religious Freedom Day by George W. Bush in a statement released earlier this month. The proclamation celebrated the freedom of the American people, as well as other peoples under American rule, to practice all religious rituals without fear of recrimination whether they be Christmas, Easter, or Lent.